Attention. The coffee maker in the main warehouse break room has been possessed by the spirit of Frank “Unluckly” Hkurgezx, former forklift operator.
The good news is now we know for sure that he was in fact killed in last week's unfortunate incident.
The bad news is that until the spirit is dislodged the coffee will continue to taste like wistful regret.
Repairmen and the company shaman have been dispatched to the area. We will notify you when Frank’s spirit is expelled and the flavor has been restored to its previous setting, despair.
That is all,